张培基英译散文赏析之《西欧的夏天》

更新时间:2019-11-15 18:10:00作者:网络

西欧的夏天Summer in Western Europe

余光中Yu Guangzhong

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》

旅客似乎是十分轻松的人,实际上却相当辛苦。旅客不用上班,却必须受时间的约束;爱做什么就做什么,却必须受钱包的限制;爱去哪里就去哪里,却必须把几件行李蜗牛壳一般带在身上。旅客最可怕的噩梦,是钱和证件一起遗失,沦为来历不明的乞丐。旅客最难把握的东西,便是气候。Light-hearted as he seems,a traveler is in fact under great stress. Though on vacation, he is nevertheless subject to the restraint of time. He can do whatever he likes on the trip, but he has to keep the expenditure within the limits of his pocket. Wherever he goes, he has to take with him his cumbersome hand luggage. He faces the most horrible possibility of losing his money and credentials, which will reduce himself to a pauper of unknown background. And, besides, he can never be sure of the weather.

要点
1,“旅客似乎是十分轻松的人,实际上却相当辛苦。”译为Light-hearted as he seems,a traveler is in fact under great stress.其中“轻松的“还可译为jiyous joyful cheerful等,但Light-hearted有carefree (无忧无虑)的含义,更加贴合语境,”辛苦“此处即”处于紧张状态“译为under great stress.与前面的Light-hearted形成对比。还要注意本句用第三人称he来代指“旅客”拉近了与读者的距离。
2,“旅客不用上班”意即“旅客在度假”或“即使是在假期”译为Though on vacation/vacationing。比直译为though he doesn’t go to work 确切。
3,” 爱做什么就做什么,却必须受钱包的限制”译为He can do whatever he likes on the trip, but he has to keep the expenditure within the limits of his pocket,“受…的限制”=within the limitation of…
4,”蜗牛壳一般“译者只取其本质含义译为cumbersome,简洁生动。
5,“沦为来历不明的乞丐“译为which will reduce himself to a pauper of unknown background.其中reduce to 我们在《我坐了木船》等文中见过无数次了,此处重点看”来历不明“的译法除了译为…of unknown background以外,还可译为unidentifiable …

综述:本段值得注意的是:原文连续用三个排比句说明了旅客在旅行中会遇到的限制。译文没有完全按照同等的排比结构进行翻译 ,而是将三个排比句译成了三个单句 ,均 用 “ he ”作主语。避免句式重复,也使译文和原文在结构和内容上都做到了基本对应。

我现在就是这样的旅客。从西班牙南端一直旅行到英国的北端,我经历了各样的气候,已经到了寒暑不侵的境界。此刻我正坐在中世纪古堡改装的旅馆里,为读者写稿,刚刚黎明,湿灰灰的云下是苏格兰中部荒莽的林木,林外是隐隐的青山。晓寒袭人,我坐在厚达尺许的石墙里,穿了一件毛衣,如果要走下回旋长梯像走下古堡之肠,去坡下的野径漫步寻幽,还得披上一件够厚的外套。That’s what I’m like now. I’ve traveled all the way from the southern tip of Spain to the northern tip of England, experiencing a variety of climates until I’ve become apathetic to the elements. I’m now sitting in a medieval castle turned hotel, writing an article for my readers. The day is just dawning. In Central Scotland, there lies under the gray wet clouds a wild wooded region, beyond which a green mountain stands faintly visible. In the chilly air of the early morning, I have to be dressed in a woolen sweater while sitting on a stone wall one foot on thickness. But I need, in addition, an outer garment to keep me warm in case I come down the spiral staircase—the intestines of the castle—to take a stroll along an unfrequented path down the mountain slope in search of secluded places of quiet beauty.

要点
1,“寒暑不侵“即”对各种天气都不在乎了“或”适应了各种天气“,译为I’ve become apathetic to the elements或be indifferent to the change of weather。
2,” 中世纪古堡改装的旅馆”译为a medieval castle turned hotel,turned 是不及物动词turn的过去分词,用作adj。
3,“刚刚黎明“译为The day is just dawning. dawn原来也可以用作动词。意为”开始;破晓,天亮“如:The morning dawn fresh and clear after the storm.
The next day dawn somber and gloomy
4,”湿灰灰的云下是苏格兰中部荒莽的林木,林外是隐隐的青山”译为In Central Scotland, there lies under the gray wet clouds a wild wooded region, beyond which a green mountain stands faintly visible.这两个分句出现两个主语,修饰成分较多,乍看比较混乱,但略作分析便可明了“树林“是核心词,应做主语;”湿灰灰的云下“”苏格兰中部“作状语,分别译为In Central Scotland和under the gray wet clouds,分置于句首和句中;”林外是隐隐的青山“译为定从,后置,即beyond which a green mountain stands faintly visible。
5,厚达尺许(即一尺左右)= one foot on thickness
晓寒袭人(即早上的空气很冷)= In the chilly air of the early morning
6,“走下回旋长梯像走下古堡之肠“用as或like直接翻译略显冗杂,译者直接将”古堡之肠“转译为”回旋长梯“的同位语,精简了句式,也传达了原文的意思。
7,“野径“一般意为”人迹稀少的小路“或”冷清的小路“,译为an unfrequented path。
“寻幽“即”寻找宁静的美景“译为in search of secluded places of quiet beauty。

综述
本段要注意“晓寒袭人,我坐在厚达尺许的石墙里,穿了一件毛衣“很容易译为散句,译者译为In the chilly air of the early morning, I have to be dressed in a woolen sweater while sitting on a stone wall one foot on thickness.避免了这点。

从台湾的定义讲来,西欧几乎没有夏天。昼蝉夜蛙,汗流浃背,是台湾的夏天。在西欧的大城,例如巴黎和伦敦,7月中旬走在阳光下,只觉得温暧舒适,并不出汗。西欧的旅馆和汽车,例皆不备冷气,因为就算天热,也是几天就过去了,值不得为避暑费事。我在西班牙、法国、英国等地租车长途旅行,其车均无冷气,只能扇风。By Taiwan standards, Western Europe has practically no summer at all. Summer in Taiwan is characterized by man’s copious perspiration as well as daytime chirping of cicadas and nighty croaking of frogs while in big European cities, like Paris and London, the mid-July temperature is so moderate and comfortable that none sweat even in the sun. Hotels and cars in Western Europe are usually not air-conditioned because hot days are so few that people don’t bother about having a cooler. The cars I hired for long-distance driving in Spain, France and England had fans, but no air-conditioning.

要点
1,“从台湾的定义讲来“即”以台湾的标准“译为By Taiwan standards。
2,“汗流浃背“= copious perspiration(大量的汗珠)
3,” 昼蝉夜蛙”意即“白天能听到蝉叫,晚上能听到蛙鸣“此处译者为了句式一致,将其名词化译为“白天的蝉鸣和夜里的蛙鸣“= daytime chirping(啁啾声)of cicadas and nightly croaking(哇哇声) of frogs,使得句式更加简洁,此外拟声词的运用也为译文增色不少。
4,“只觉得温暧舒适,并不出汗“因果关系。
5,“例皆不备冷气“意为”都没装空调“,故译为are usually not air-conditioned,其中”没装空调“译者灵活滴将”装空调“转为be done的形式,后面又出现的” 均无冷气“译为no air-conditioning,这里的air-conditioning作名词”空调系统“或”空调设备“讲。

综述:注意第五点省去动词的译法。

巴黎的所谓夏天,像是台北的深夜,早晚上街,凉风袭肘,一件毛衣还不足御寒。如果你走塞纳河边,风力加上水气,更需要一件风衣才行。下午日暖,单衣便够,可是一走到楼影或树阴里,便嫌单衣太薄。地面如此,地下却又不同。巴黎的地车比纽约、伦敦、马德里的都好,却相当闷热,令人穿不住毛衣。所以地上地下,穿穿脱脱,也颇麻烦。The climate of Paris in summer is like that of Taipei at night. When you go out on an early morning or late evening, your woolen sweater will be hardly warm enough to keep out the nip in the air. When you walk along the Seine, where it is even chillier due to the strong wind coupled with the cold waters, you have to wear a windcheater. Then, all you need is just an unlined garment in the afternoon when it is warm, but you’ll feel like putting on more when you are under the shade of buildings or trees. That’s all for things aboveground. Now things underground. The subway of Paris is better than that of New York, London or Madrid, but it is so hot and stuffy that you feel like taking off your woolen sweater. Consequently you’ll be annoyed by having to don or doff your clothes now and then, depending on whether you’re aboveground or underground.

要点
1,“如果你走塞纳河边,风力加上水气,更需要一件风衣才行。”译为When you walk along the Seine, where it is even chillier due to the strong wind coupled with the cold waters, you have to wear a windcheater.其中“风力加上水气”是“塞纳河边的”状态,因此用where引导的从句修饰,而“更需要穿”根据意思转为“不得不穿”来翻译,也算是贴合原文意思。
2,then承上启下,无实际意思
3,“地面如此,地下却又不同。”译为That’s all for things aboveground. Now things underground.意同… is one thing and…is another。
4,“嫌单衣太薄”和“令人穿不住毛衣”,分别译为you’ll feel like putting on more,和you feel like taking off your woolen sweater, “嫌太薄”即“想多穿”,“穿不住”即“想脱掉”,这两个词都不好翻,但译者抓住其本质含义,以一个feel like准确地表达了原文的意思。
5,“所以地上地下,穿穿脱脱,也颇麻烦。”译为Consequently you’ll be annoyed by having to don or doff your clothes now and then, depending on whether you’re aboveground or underground.其中now and then和depending on whether you’re aboveground or underground都是为了充分表达原文意思而增益的部分而增益的部分。

综述:注意本段的合译,本篇文章的特色就在于合译和四字词的翻译。

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